Monday, June 2, 2014

Balloons for Heaven

I can't believe it's been three years. Some days the pain feels like yesterday, and other times, like a hundred years ago. No matter what, June 2nd comes around once a year whether I want it to or not. Today like every June 2nd we hauled ourselves up a hill at the beach to send balloons to Heaven for Andrew. Said a silent happy birthday, blow a kiss, whisper I love you. Let the balloons go, because really you can't send regular gifts to Heaven. And then went for ice cream. After all ice cream is an important part of any birthday. 
I once heard that someone didn't think it was healthy for us to spend a day remembering him. I balk because really this day isn't any different than any of our other children's birthdays, other than his birthday is in Heaven. Sadly we still live in a society that thinks cherishing and openly sharing a child's death is taboo. Don't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable. It's just plain weird. And really the problem is society. Sorry people but the 1950's were over a long time ago. 
Honestly I don't talk about Andrew or celebrate his birthday for anyone but us. 
When people ask how many children I have, how should I answer? Is my child who died less important than the ones who are still alive? Is he any less Important because he never breathed outside my body? 
Those balloons are for Heaven. They are for Andrew. They are for us as a family. And really any good mom would do the same.