It's funny to think back to when I was a kid, and all the things I thought I would say and do when I was all grown up and on my own. I honestly thought that when I was an adult I would actually get to have complete control of my life! The relationships I had helped to form for my kids would always stay the same. And the job I love so much would never change. Funny right? Ya I thought so too. Last year when I was faced with Ella's two best friends moving to new schools, an involuntary transfer for myself to another school, and that leaving my baby with a very loving and attentive babysitter would actually be very hard, it occurred to me I had obviously been living in a dream land!
I thought I had it all figured out as to how many kids we would have, and when. I didn't realize what a rocky road that would be! I also didn't realize that I would love them so much it hurts!
We all do this. We all think to ourselves that if we do everything right things will go our way. I never took the time to realize that we are never in control of anything at all! And we convince ourselves that we are! Then it's an even more humbling experience to realize that God is in control of everything. We never actually had control to begin with. But I'm thankful, because His love covers all. It even covers my immature, childish thoughts that got me to this point! And I'm glad I did realize that!
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